The Truth of Who I Am

"Only the truth of who you are, if realized, will set you free." -Eckhart Tolle

Singing My Song

Recently, I heard a woman singing her soul’s song. It was as if that song, those words, the music were created just for her voice and her voice for the music. It was absolutely beautiful and I could feel the song as if it were coming right out of my own soul.¬†There’s a certain kind of joy I get when I am witness to someone who is in the moment of doing exactly the thing he or she was meant to be doing. When someone is at the top of their game, it is almost intoxicating to be in their presence. It’s that awe I felt watching Gabby Douglas in the Olympics or Tina Turner on her stage or my favorite professor in my undergraduate years at Agnes Scott College, the late Ayse Carden, while she was teaching. There’s something about being in the presence of someone who is in their MOMENT of fulfilling their life’s purpose that leaves me in wonder and joy. I know you must know the feeling.

I believe I feel that overwhelming joy when experiencing another person in the middle of the thing they are here to do because it’s like looking into a mirror of possibility. It’s like seeing and knowing what I am capable of. It’s inspiring because it’s my highest self expressed. There is a sacredness in those moments in which we are living up to our fullest potential. We recognize those moments when others are in theirs because they are OUR moments, too. After all, we are of the same spirit, the same source, the same life. So even when it’s not me in that moment of being in the presence of somebody else’s moment, I am also able to feel it as if it is mine, too.

I am in search of the truth of who I am. I have a general sense of the essence of who I am but I’ve been feeling a certain restlessness lately that’s telling me that maybe I’m not singing my soul’s song. This morning I listened to a talk on the Authentic Self. Funny how when you’re searching for answers, the lessons (and teachers) come flying at you and the closer you get, the more it feels like being in the storm. I’m feeling tossed and turned amidst these thoughts and trying to learn the lessons as they come and hoping that I am moving into the eye of the storm where I can feel the calm once again.

There is a beautiful story floating around about a group of people somewhere in Africa.¬† Side note – I rarely say such things as “somewhere in Africa” because very specific regions and countries and towns are home to me and vary greatly. However, not knowing exactly which tribe and where in Africa, I can only hope that Alan Cohen knows the truth about them. The piece is called Sing Your Song from his book, Wisdom of the Heart. Go on – click on the link and read it. It will open in a new tab. You’ll be glad you read it if you haven’t already. It’s beautiful and it brings tears to my eyes. It reminds me to seek, know and be guided by the truth of who I am. It reminds me that I have a song. It brings tears to my eyes to know that there are special, special people who know my song and always will. It reminds me that I came into this universe intentionally and to live out a purpose in a way that only I can. And it assures me that there will always be people around me to remind me of my song by singing it to me.

Today, one of those special people in my life sang me my song. I needed it. She sang it and I listened and I remembered my song. I may not have figured out my life’s purpose, but I remembered my song. I’m settling into the acceptance that, mostly, I’m living out my purpose without ever knowing what my purpose is. It’s not necessary for me to know my life’s purpose all the time. It’s only necessary to sing my song. To live out the truth of who I am. Ultimately, if I do anything in the spirit of true love, I am living out my purpose. Even when it’s really, really hard. I must remember that. And I must remember my song. I am deeply grateful for those special people who know my song and sing it to me.

So although I’m not clear about my life’s Purpose, I know I have been in the moments of fulfilling my life’s purpose. Some have been big and wild and had fireworks in the background, while others are quieter, simpler moments of knowing. Like right now, while writing, I know I’m in it. I like this. I feel calm and excited and happy all at the same time. I am in the eye of the storm in this moment.

And as surely as I sit here in this quiet Moment, I also know that there are bigger Moments to come as I live out my purpose and as you live out yours. I commit to daring to sing my song as loudly or as softly as necessary.

Truthfully yours,

Rhina

P.S. Sometimes it takes me a while to make the connections and I just had an Aha! moment that forced me to update this post. This morning, I took a moment to sit outside on my deck to be in my feelings of feeling lost from my self. As I sat there, I saw a hummingbird in the distance hovering over some flowers in our yard that often attract hummingbirds. I always feel lucky to see hummingbirds. This one, however, hovered right on over in my direction and came all the way to 3 feet in front of my face and looked right at me while hovering!!!! It hovered for several seconds, gazing at me, then went on its way. I knew something special had happened in those moments with my humming bird.

And it took me until this evening to realize that it was a HUMMING BIRD. Get it?! – a humming bird. Humming birds hum. It came to hum my song to me. Without a doubt I know that it was God-sent. No doubt.

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Saying YES to the Universe

There is so much that needs to be written out of my head and heart that I feel I might burst if I don’t. I actually just began to write something quite profound and then in walked my 5 year-old with books to read. With the intention of going with the flow and accepting invitations from the Universe, I said sure and enjoyed a few moments with her and a couple of books.

I was then joined by my 8 year-old who wanted to quietly sit near me while his mind woke up and before his energy levels and vocal cords rose from 0-100 percent. Again I said yes.

Then, having sufficiently enjoyed the moments, I shifted to my computer to write. I’ve been itching to write. So much has been on my mind and in my soul and this is the way I let it out. This is my therapy (and it’s free, which I like).

So I sat down and returned to my profound thoughts…only to hear a piercing, high-pitched and very long drawn out sound from one of my kids. I don’t really know what it was and why right THEN, but there went my profound thoughts as I fell right back into my real world of trying to juggle the everyday pieces of parenting and working and living.

Except that this morning is quieter than my usual mornings and I took a moment to say yes to The Universe – to writing as well as to precious time with my children.

This blog post is short but a much needed therapy session with the Universe that I said yes to. As I write, in this moment, my two most amazing gifts are beginning to engage in “sibling love” that is escalating from…scoot over…stooooooppppp…I’m just trying to get comfortable…stop pushing me off the couch…I’m not touching you…heeeyyyyy…what are you trying to do???…I’m trying to sleep…stop!…you’re snoring…I thought we were trying to sleep…I don’t like it when you snore next to me…etc., etc., etc.

Life is good. As is.

That’s my prayer today.

Truthfully yours,

Rhina

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